It's summertime and it's been summer vacation already since the 1st of June but MY personal summer vacation started just now since I had to re-take my maths exam (because I flunked xP) and I PASSED!!!! YARR!!!

This summer is sure gonna be busy. I have lots of things to do and because of that I'm quite grateful I don't have a summer-job this year. I just wouldn't have the time. I have a room to paint and redecorate, siblings to visit, cosplay outfits to make, cons to attend, friends to meet and the most important and special thing about this summer is that my graduation is nearby next year and I have to seriously concentrate on my studies this summer and the following year.

Oh, that's right. I'm also going to be turning 18 in a few months. I can't believe it, and neither can my younger sister (that's what she keeps telling me, bleh xP) that I'm going to be legally adult next Fall. Can't wait~

I'm also going to get my driver's license soon enough. If I have the money for it that is........ Daaaddyyy~!! xDD


Mmmmh, yup. The weather is great, it's sunny and summery outside and I'm unusually happy
due to my math success


Life seems to be smiling down on me today. Though I have a slight headache. But that's normal nowadays so nothing to really complain about. Isn't that great!


Last thursday I spend the whole day at the beach with three of my friends and we went swimming and scared some little kids, played spin the bottle, did stupid things and had so much fun! That had to be the first day that I actually started feeling that summer has arrived


Oh! About a month ago a WONDERFUL thing happened and I discovered the wonders of the Death Note series again ! <33
I love that story!

And what can I say, I STILL have the urge to draw Light in a frilly pink apron baking cookies of mass destruction!!
It's the true essence of EVIL I say!


Also, for some very random and unknown reason when spend the night at my place during the weekend, we experienced a sudden nostalgic Naruto moment and HAD to dig out the good old episodes and watch them over and over again till our brains were turned into nothing more than mush of SasuNaru goodies~


What can I say?


We're weird <3

-We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating-




Wheoweeeee can you believe it, I'm actually making an entry that's NOT filled up with pointless and sometimes maybe not so pointless angst, but angst none the less!! 8D Yay for me! >w<


SO! There's... really nothing to say now that the angst is gone, is there? x'D Well who cares!


Well, I did have a very nice weekend with a few of my friends 8D We seriously watched like... what... 5 movies?? >DD It was fuuuuuuuuuuuun and next time I promise I won't keep anyone up just to see the sunrise x'''''D sorry about that Elzaaa >D *pokepokepoke* still blaming the pills, uh-huh >u<
I had so much fun I wouldn't have wanted to leave at all x) till the next time~


OH, and there's next weekend! The May Day is coming and my other friends are coming and we're gonna have fun again 8D and play some kick-ass Kingdom Hearts! >w< a lot <3


Diddidaddiduuduu 8D either my stimulant pills are really starting to work or I'm just finally turning wacko~~


But now I'm off to watch ANOTHER movie! cya~





And look Elsa, it's you friend mr. Penguin! xD

Okay great, juuuuuust great! I hate it so much that sometimes... sometimes feel like I'm gonna burst open if can't talk to someone about my EMOTIONAL TEENAGE PROBLEMS... fucking emo whore my ass... it's not emo to have some kind of emotional problems for God's sake! I'm 17! I would be weird if I didn't have problems! But that's... completely beside the point I wanted to make... Okay.

So. Sometimes I just feel like I really really reeeeally need to talk to someone, someone who's interested and would just listen to me 'cause really, most people don't. The number of the people who I can talk to and feel like they actually listen and care about what I'm saying.. I can count those people with the fingers of one of my hands and there would still be some fingers left. So yeah. And since there's just one of those people physically close enough so I can just talk when I feel like it... I tend to use that one person.

The thing is, always, when I talk to her I start regretting it from the very start the moment I open my mouth. And I hate it. After the conversation is over I'm always upset and I cry and I really hope I hadn't opened my mouth. Which is just like this particular moment.

God, why do I always have to talk to her about this... I don't want her to remember anything I've said, I know it's gonna affect on everything from now on. The way she thinks of me is the most painful one. She even said for the first time that if what I told her was true then I should get some psychiatric help or something. I know she wasn't joking. She never is when we talk about stuff like this.

Just wish I had kept my mouth shut. But then again, it would've just made me feel worse if I hadn't got it out in some way... Why is everything so damn complicated.


Damn... it's almost midnight and I haven't read anything for my Swedish exam which would be dun dun duuun! tomorrow! I'm pathetic. I've got a major headache and crying really isn't going to make it better... way to go.


But! There actually was something good today! I went shopping with my half-sister and I finally bought a new ummm... uh.. well damn! I don't know what it's called in English! Well you know that white clean shirt men wear when they wanna look nice and tidy? Yeah, that would be the one, only the one I bought is pitch black <3 and then I bought this necklace from the men's department. It's really cool with a long chain and... yeah. I like it.


So. I'm gonna go read some Swedish grammar now so I might actually have a some kind of chance in tomorrow's exam. OH! And the cool thing about tomorrow! I'm gonna get a haircut! FIIINALLY! I mean seriously.. this mop everyone calls my hair is starting to scare me... I can even put it in a proper ponytail now! GEEZ! That's scary! O__O

Well, luckily, tomorrow it will be gone gone gone! And I will be very much happy happy happy >3



Heheh... night then I guess. It's already past midnight. Shit...

I hate today.

Somehow I just can't bring myself to be interested in anything, I've really been depressed and I hate it when I see friends again after these couple lonely months and now I feel like shit when I act like some life-hating emo around them...

It was really great to see them all again, it was! They cheered me up for a while and I was in a better mood but.... I dunno.

So today sucked except for my friends. I haven't even drawn anything for a while! Whyyyyy, because I haven't felt like it and I can't draw when I'm depressed, it'll turn out looking like crap and then I get more depressed.

And it's really awkward to be home right now anyways, since it's just me and my mom and she won't talk to me and the house is all silent and I know she's mad at me.... what I don't know is why.

I can't wait to get away from here and move out somewhere. But first I have to at least finish high school and get my educational and financial things settled. For now, before that's done, I'm stuck here.

I should've never come home today, I hate it.

Righty then... Why am I writing again? Oh yeah, bored




Should be reading for my next week's exams, really can't bring myself to do anything right now, not even to copy some notes from my friend's notebook... Must be because I'm so tired. My contacts are killing my eyes but I'm too lazy to take them off.


Damn. Why the HELL did I even start to write this damn thing again, the old one looked more cool on my profile page! there was actually something IN it!


BUT! Some good news for a change: My laptop is pretty much useless being broken and all, so I'm gonna get more drawings done! Yey for meeeh! Most likely. Maybe. Probably. Let's just hope so

One thing's for sure, though. I have FINALLY found the little sewer me from all of those other personalities that inhabit my body yey, whopdiduu... NO SERIOUSLY! Today I had this unbelievable urge to start working on my cosplay, make a stuffed toy and just do something with my hands. I'm really going to start putting some EFFORT to those things.

Sonja should be proud of me now *whisper* because she's a perfectionist with these things... But don't tell her.



OH! And ya know what! There's only 3 FRIGGIN' DAYS LEFT and then I can eat CANDY AGAIN! Mmmmm... candeyyyyyh... 75y656yhtigjgifeore4596kths765yy MAH CANDY MAH LOVE!!! <33<3




YOSH! I won't ever stop amazing myself with my awesome athletic performances. I just got my contacts off! That's gotta be great, aye? Only... now I have red water-color in my eyes. Yeeeah, boys and girls please, remember to WASH your hands before poking them in your EYES!





Now, I just HAD to do something to make this journal to have some kinda point in existing. So what do I do? FIND A USELESS TAG OF COURSE! Anywho, let's just take a little look at how much has my mom gone wrong in raising me to this society...



1. Smoked. [ ]
2. Consumed alcohol. [x]
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. [x]
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. [x]
5. Kissed someone of the same sex. [x]
6. Had sex. [ ]
7. Had someone in your room other than family. [x]
8. Watched porn. [x]
9. Bought porn. [ ]
10. Done drugs. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 6

1. Taken painkillers. [x]
2. Taken someone else's prescription medicine. [ ]
3. Lied to your parents. [x]
4. Lied to a friend. [x]
5. Been to rehab. [ ]
6. Done something illegal. [x]
7. Cut yourself. [ ]
8. Hurt someone. [x]
9. Been to a club. [ ]
10. Seen someone die. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 11

1. Missed curfew. [x]
2. Stayed out all night. [ ]
3. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself. [x]
4. Been to a therapist. [ ]
5. Snuck out of the house. [x]
6. Dyed your hair. [x]
7. Received a ticket. [x]
8. Been in an accident. [x]
9. Wished someone to die. [x]
10. Been to a pub. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 18

1. Been to a wild party. [ ]
2. Been to a Mardi Gras parade. [ ]
3. Drank more than four beers in a night. [ ]
4. Had a spring break in Florida. [ ]
5. Sniffed anything. [ ]
6. Wore black nail polish. [x]
7. Wore arm bands. [x]
8. Wore t-shirts with band names. [x]
9. Listened to rap. [x]
10. Owned a 50 Cent CD. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 22

1. Dressed Gothic. [x]
2. Dressed prep. [x]
3. Dressed punk. [x]
4. Dressed grunge. [x]
5. Stole something. [x]
6. Been too drunk to remember anything. [ ]
7. Blacked out. [ ]
8. Fainted. [ ]
9. Had a crush on a neighbor. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 28

1. Snuck into someone else's room. [ ]
2. Had a crush on your friend. [x]
3. Been to a concert. [x]
4. Dry-humped someone. [ ]
5. Been called a slut. [x]
6. Called someone a slut. [ ]
7. Installed speakers in your car. [ ]
8. Broken a mirror. [x]
9. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house. [ ]
10. Brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 33

1. Consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper. [ ]
2. Seen an R-rated movie in theater. [ ]
3. Cruised the mall. [x]
4. Skipped school. [x]
5. Had surgery. [ ]
6. Had an injury. [x]
7. Gone to court. [ ]
8. Walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. [ ]
9. Caught something on fire. [x] (does myself count? xD)
10. Lied about your age. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 38

1. Owned/rented an apartment. [ ]
2. Broke the law in the police's presence. [ ]
3. Made out with someone who had a gf/bf. [ ]
4. Got in trouble with the police. [ ]
5. Talked to a stranger. [x]
6. Hugged a stranger. [x]
7. Kissed a stranger. [x]
8. Rode in the car with a stranger. [ ]
9. Been harassed. [ ]
10. Been verbally harassed. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 41

1. Met face-to-face with someone you met online. [x]
2. Stayed online for 5 hours straight. [x]
3. Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight. [x]
4. Watched TV for 5 hours straight. [x]
5. Been to a fair. [x]
6. Been called a bad influence. [x]
7. Drink and drive. [ ]
8. Prank-called someone. [x]
9. Laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. [x]
10. Cheated on a test. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 49

-If You Have Less Then 10..write [I'm a Goody Goody.]
-If You Have More Than 10..write [I'm still a goody goody.]
-If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average.]
-If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad kid.]
-If You have more than 40..write [I'm a very bad influence.]
-If You Have more than 50..write [I'm a horrible person.]



... Okaaaaaaay ONE POINT apart from A HORRIBLE PERSON! Now I'm just a very bad influence Seriously lol you guys. I don't think I'm that horrible, I actually think I have some goody-goody gene in me


But... it seems it has really shrunk



This ridiculous excuse for a journal is now so long that even I wouldn't want to read it. So I'm stopping now. Yes, you may take out your flags and streamers and start the party, she's FINALLY ending the damn thing! <3




Did I mention? The exam week is on so I don't have school tomorrow, cool for me, sucks for you!


Kay, m gonna go to bed now, G'night everyone~! <3













(my pwetty pwetty oranges!<3)